On The Heights Of Despair

by Calvaire

  • Streaming + Download

    Includes high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more. Paying supporters also get unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app.

      name your price




released January 23, 2015

Drums Recorded at Inversion Studios (Cedric & Pete, www.facebook.com/inversionstudios)
All Other Instruments Recorded at the home, & with the help, of Yusuf Bin Isak (mdyusuf_89@hotmail.com)
Mixing and Mastering done by Ahmad Husayn (www.facebook.com/kajisg)
All music written by Calvaire

*Greetings From Fifty-Two inspired by Joshua Zeman's 52: The Search for the Loneliest Whale in the World (www.52thesearch.com)
*Intro clip for Absolutes Of Idolism taken from Emily Young's Veronika Decides To Die (2009)
*Physical CDs available at $10 (from 7th Feb 2015) via www.canopusdistro.com , FB or Twitter message us or simply drop an email at azfar.fitri89@gmail.com
*We will be selling 10 copies exclusively under Canopus Distro (www.facebook.com/canopusdistro) during Distro Day Out (30/31st Jan 2015), more info at: prohibitedprojects.blogspot.sg



all rights reserved


Calvaire Singapore

Iryan. Rudy. Roy. Azfar. Izuan.

contact / help

Contact Calvaire

Streaming and
Download help

Track Name: Greetings From Fifty-Two
The luminous glow, in its elegant glory
As I await, as I expect, my anticipation
You complete me
My perforate existence
When the moon is all I have, even echoes don't repeat
Imaginary friends, it brings tears
My voices are my peers

Warmth of the sun & the squalling winds
Let the tempest swallow me, I'm already drowning
I’m drowning from within
This cold murky water
It rushes through my body
Filled my lungs
Stream of everyday endeavor
How I wish I can hide & cower

Life, give me something to mourn about

The luminous glow, in its elegant glory
As I await, as I expect, my anticipation
You complete me
My perforate existence. Solitary companion
It’s funny how, from August to December
As my hope begins to linger, it is only me
Solely me

Someday I wish that the world would open its ears
Dwell deep beneath the blackest abyss
Search far beyond the horizon
Peel the hindered vision, of the Pacific Ocean
This is where I abode, it’s been vacant for far too long
I’m here, to be discovered. I was here all along
You've been searching at all the wrong places
Maybe I am not meant to be found

The luminous glow, in its elegant glory
As I await, as I expect, my anticipation
You complete me
My perforate existence. This is greetings from Fifty-Two
The loneliest. In the world
The search begins. For the loneliest… in the world
Track Name: Beholden
From here on now, scour everything
From here on now, set in stone
Till Eternity

Bringing forth, this resplendency
Onward I seek the zone of proximity
Making oceans crashing down on me feel painless
It's Innocuous.
For to mend this feeble sluggish soul, I wait with bated breath

Every influence. That you're infallible
Even boundless heaps of riches

I promise to uphold
Thank you
I give you my word

Bringing forth, your will of love
The prayers won’t leave me
These uncertainties, a formality?
Never burden me
For you are my matriarch, congenial ruler of true majesty
Grips on me, the fortunate one, forever blessing

Mounting rage of hate, only momentary
The detesting pull, yet you rise with me
I pale in comparison, with all that you've bestowed me
Seeking refuge from life, working miracles in me
Hopefully, when curtains fall, gratitude.
This is my obligation
Beholden. For this salutary life I live

You gave me heaven
A new meaning
For gracing my life, eloquently
I promise to uphold, I promise to relive
Sacrifices you've yield to make you proud of me

To climb the mountains
We shall ascend
I'll break these barriers with you
Towards infinity
Track Name: Absolutes Of Idolism
There is no absolutes in truth
My admiration, confined within the reaches
Forever our configuration, remain untapped

The semblance of perfection, hides the palpable truth
A truth of fake idolism, when the harsh realism is that
We are all idle creatures. A journeyman, towards nugatory
The visible alignment of our fascination, within our own reflection
This marks the birth, a re-genesis of sorts, where our facades
Our own foundation. Bear witness, as we fall to our knees
Pleading, for an ending to this procreation
To lift the veil of this malignant tumor
Pleading, for an ending to this procreation

I am alone. Beseeching
I am pleading, for humanity
For my humanity
Once again, when I open my eyes, stare straight at the sun
Whisper to your ears, I've been handed a reprieve

We are whole. We are now benign
Track Name: My Majestic Tragedy
"It began with a ringing on my phone, & it shook me.
I woke up in a cold sweat, much like days gone past.
Who could it be? What would it mean?
Apprehensive thoughts, it kept lingering.
'Someone had died' they said, & it was tragic.
A recurring disease, came back to haunt him.
To my chagrin, my neck stiffened up.
My body, heavy but lifeless.
I couldn't move my limbs, as I reached out in vexation.
This whole story, reminds me
Of a tragedy, How I should've foreseen.
About a man who lived to tell a tale.
Of how he drank from a poisonous well.
About a man, who drank from a poisonous well"

She came back & brought promise
"when you look at me, I know.
you're everything that I want."
She spoke of a second chance
Let's start over, let me introduce myself
Create new memories & relearn what we already know
The past was non-existent. This is your second chance
The anchor was released. The shackles, it broke free
It was us. Five years that seemed like an eternity
More so for me

I love us. Rekindled, I told her
"& if I see you fall, I'll turn the World on its side, so it catches you."
We held hands, the grip so tight, I could not die
Not even the promise of death from wars
Could destroy what was 'everlasting'
One day I woke up feeling strange, floating
The grip had faltered & it fades
Why would she let go, it was a promise until our deathbed

The gentle rain now pours & the wind blows in the wrong direction
I remember that blissful touch from your hands, but I immediately stop & wept
For 125 Days, I drank from the well, the same one in which I fell
We made a pact worthy of wolves
They sneak behind each other's backs, thinking we're fools

You've ripped my heart out all those years
& now you came back just to break me again
I say "that it's not okay for you to walk into my life & pretend to care, then leave me as if... It was nothing, we were nothing. I was nothing."

I suited up, all black & combed my hair. Perfect in every strand
To pay my last respects for somebody who had died drinking from the poisonous well
I took a glance, & fall back onto my chair
Oh what a dismal tragedy this is
For I am that man, who had died a majestic death
For I am that man. It was me